A Better Beggar

There are days I remember
because I want to forget
how much I wanted
something so simple.
Now I don't know
how long I would have lasted
if I'd gotten
what I wanted.

There must be a point
where you've loved so long
you kind of get stuck in it-
a start date, with no sides, no bottom
just waking up and going on with it.
I was there once
but I don't remember
when I got there.

I just remember
vaulted ceilings
and purple velvet
and realize those were months apart.
My aunt and uncle have loved each other
since grade school,
and I wonder
if we could have had that
if I had been
a better beggar.